Honoring Yourself in the Practice of Being Your Word
Keeping your word is not just a matter of fulfilling your commitments to others; it's also a matter of personal integrity and self-respect. By honoring your word, you demonstrate that you are a person of your word, and you foster trust and respect in your relationships with others. You prove to yourself that you are capable of following through on your intentions and that you have the self-discipline and integrity to hold yourself accountable.
When you make a promise to someone, whether it's a small commitment like showing up to a friend's birthday party or a more significant obligation like meeting a work deadline, you are essentially giving your word. And keeping your word is not just a matter of being reliable or trustworthy; it's also a matter of personal integrity and self-respect.
When you keep your word, you demonstrate to others that you are a person of your word. You show that you are someone who can be counted on and that you take your commitments seriously. This, in turn, fosters trust and respect in your relationships with others.
But perhaps even more importantly, keeping your word honors yourself. When you make a promise, you are essentially making a commitment to yourself as well as to others. You are saying, "I value my word and my reputation, and I will do what I said I would do."
By following through on your commitments, you are demonstrating self-respect and self-discipline. You are proving to yourself that you are capable of following through on your intentions and that you have the integrity to hold yourself accountable.
On the other hand, when you fail to keep your word, you not only let down the other person, but you also compromise your own sense of integrity and self-worth. You may feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed, and your self-esteem may suffer as a result.
Moreover, if you repeatedly break your commitments, you risk damaging your relationships with others and eroding their trust in you.
Of course, there may be times when circumstances beyond your control prevent you from keeping your word. In such cases, it's important to communicate with the other person and explain the situation honestly and respectfully. This can help to maintain trust and respect in your relationship, even if you are unable to follow through on your promise.
Keeping your word is not just a matter of fulfilling your commitments to others; it's also a matter of personal integrity and self-respect.
By honoring your word, you demonstrate that you are a person of your word, and you foster trust and respect in your relationships with others.
So the next time you make a promise, remember that keeping your word is not just about the other person, but it's also about honoring yourself.
Watch our quick video on When Your Word is Your Bond: How Keeping Your Word Can Transform Your Personal and Professional Life
How to Effectively Apologize When You Have Broken a Promise or Agreement
Apologizing is important because it acknowledges the harm or hurt caused, takes responsibility for one's actions, and demonstrates a willingness to make things right. It can repair relationships, restore trust, and prevent future harm. It also shows empathy and respect for the feelings of others. Apologizing can lead to a sense of closure and healing for both the apologizer and the person who was hurt. Learn how to apologize effectively and restore trust with these tips.
What does it mean to truly apologize? Apologizing is more than just saying the words 'I'm sorry.' It requires acknowledging the harm or hurt that was caused, taking responsibility for one's actions, and making a genuine effort to make things right.
A true apology involves empathy, understanding the perspective of the person who was hurt, and demonstrating a willingness to listen to their feelings and needs. It also means committing to making changes to prevent the same harm from happening again in the future.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you said or did something that you regretted, and it seemed to hang in the air between you and the other person?
It can be difficult to move forward when there's unresolved tension and negative energy in the space.
In these times, it is critical to speak up, take responsibility, and “clear the space.”
A clearing is a way of taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing for any harm caused, while also cleaning up the energy in the space. It can be done in person or remotely, and can be as simple or elaborate as you'd like.
Consider the possibility of honoring yourself as your word and acting consistent with it AND consider what really matters to you; being right or being with the other person.
Speak from the heart and acknowledge the broken agreement or harm you caused.
Use "I" statements and avoid blaming or making excuses. For example, "I'm sorry for what I said. It was hurtful and not okay." Own that you are 100% responsible and they are 0%.
Save the reasons, excuses, stories, and blame... they're not at ALL important to what you're up to creating in the future of your relationship.
Declare that you will let it all go - get rid of all the thoughts, complaints, energy, emotion, blame, shame, guilt — all of it. Even saying the words “ I let (my blame, shame, guilt, complaints go) because what is really most important is _____________ (i.e. having a relationship that works, being able to hang out again, being able to work together without stress, etc.)”
Say what is appropriate for the relationship. This could include: "I love you, I am sorry. Please forgive me.”
Finally, assure the person that this won’t happen again. This could involve making amends, offering a solution, or committing to do better in the future.
Remember, apologizing takes courage and humility, but it's an important step in repairing relationships and restoring trust. By taking responsibility for your actions and clearing things up, everyone can move forward with greater clarity and positivity.
Watch our quick video below for tips on how to honor both parties and set the path toward healing and making things right again:
Beyond Flawless: Breaking Free from Perfectionism and Embracing Authenticity
In the perfectionist mindset, we get fixed in our expectations, whether it is with ourselves or others, and then we set ourselves up for disappointment, frustration, and even resentment. Excellence, however, is moveable, adaptable, and abundant - with endless possibilities. It generates innovation and excitement.
In the perfectionist mindset, we get fixed in our expectations, whether it is with ourselves or others, and then we set ourselves up for disappointment, frustration, and even resentment.
Excellence, however, is moveable, adaptable, and abundant - with endless possibilities. It generates innovation and excitement.
Perfectionism: The Unrealistic and Dangerous Standard
Excellence and perfectionism may appear similar on the surface, but they have some fundamental differences. Perfectionism is an unrealistic standard that focuses on flawless execution and achieving an ideal state of perfection. Perfectionists often set impossibly high standards for themselves, and anything less than perfection is seen as a failure.
Perfectionism can lead to a fear of failure, a lack of confidence, and a constant feeling of being unsatisfied with one's performance.
Excellence: Giving Up Perfection for a Healthy Growth Mindset
Excellence, on the other hand, is a mindset or an approach that focuses on doing your best, continuously improving, and striving for excellence in all that you do. It is a commitment to quality, attention to detail, and a willingness to put in the effort required to achieve the desired outcome.
Excellence is about setting high standards for yourself, and continuously working towards those standards, with the understanding that you can always improve and do better.
Another difference between excellence and perfectionism is the way they affect one's mental state. Pursuing excellence can be motivating and energizing, while perfectionism can be draining and anxiety-provoking.
The Drain and Strain of Perfectionism
While striving for excellence can be healthy and productive, perfectionism can be damaging to one's mental and emotional well-being. Perfectionists often experience a lot of stress and pressure, and may even avoid taking risks or trying new things for fear of failure. Pursuing excellence is about striving for the best, while recognizing that there is always room for improvement. Perfectionism, on the other hand, is about setting an impossible standard and striving for an unattainable ideal.
How to Shift from Perfectionism to Excellence
If you are a perfectionist, there are a few things you can do to shift to a more healthy and productive mindset of excellence:
Identify your perfectionistic thoughts and behaviors. The first step to shifting from perfectionism to excellence is to become aware of your perfectionistic thoughts and behaviors. Once you are aware of them, you can start to challenge them and replace them with more realistic and helpful thoughts and behaviors.
Set realistic goals and expectations. Perfectionists often set impossibly high standards for themselves. Instead of setting unrealistic goals, set realistic and achievable goals that you can work towards.
Celebrate your successes. When you achieve a goal, no matter how small, take the time to celebrate your success. This will help you to appreciate your accomplishments and boost your self-esteem.
Learn from your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Instead of beating yourself up over your mistakes, learn from them and move on.
Focus on the process, not the outcome. Perfectionists often focus on the outcome of a task, rather than the process of completing the task. Instead of focusing on the outcome, focus on enjoying the process and doing your best.
Get coaching and more with LDE’s trainings and courses here.
Unlocking Your Potential: The Power of a Growth Mindset over a Fixed Mindset
A fixed mindset is a belief system that individuals hold that their qualities, traits, and abilities are predetermined and cannot be changed or improved. People with a fixed mindset tend to believe that their intelligence, talent, and abilities are fixed traits that cannot be developed, and they are more likely to avoid challenges, give up easily, and feel threatened by the success of others.
A fixed mindset is a belief system that individuals hold that their qualities, traits, and abilities are predetermined and cannot be changed or improved. People with a fixed mindset tend to believe that their intelligence, talent, and abilities are fixed traits that cannot be developed, and they are more likely to avoid challenges, give up easily, and feel threatened by the success of others.
Individuals with a fixed mindset tend to focus on proving themselves by seeking validation and avoiding failure, rather than on learning and growing. They often feel discouraged when faced with setbacks and believe that their abilities and talents are predetermined, leading them to avoid challenges and give up quickly when faced with difficulties.
A fixed mindset can limit one's potential for growth and success, as it can lead to a lack of motivation to learn and develop new skills. However, by recognizing a fixed mindset and actively working to adopt a growth mindset, individuals can learn to embrace challenges, persevere through difficulties, and develop a love of learning and growth.
Alternatively, a growth mindset is the belief that one's abilities can be developed and improved through hard work, dedication, and persistence. It is an essential factor for success in various areas of life, including personal growth, education, career, and relationships.
Here are some steps you can take to develop a growth mindset:
Embrace challenges: One of the fundamental aspects of developing a growth mindset is to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than as roadblocks. It would help if you were willing to push yourself out of your comfort zone and take on challenges that will help you learn and develop new skills.
Emphasize the process over the outcome: Instead of focusing solely on achieving a specific outcome, concentrate on the journey and the steps you need to take to get there. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may be.
Adopt a positive attitude: Develop a positive attitude towards learning and growth. This means embracing failure as part of the learning process and treating setbacks as opportunities to learn and improve.
Cultivate a love of learning: A growth mindset is all about the desire to learn and improve continuously. Develop a passion for learning by exposing yourself to new ideas, experiences, and perspectives.
Seek feedback: Feedback is essential to learning and growth. Seek out constructive feedback from others and use it as an opportunity to improve and develop.
Take risks: Taking calculated risks is an essential part of developing a growth mindset. Embrace uncertainty and take on new challenges that will help you grow and develop. For more on risk, check out our 5 Ways to Become a Better, Bolder Risk-Taker
Surround yourself with positive influences: Surround yourself with people who have a growth mindset and are supportive of your goals and aspirations. Avoid negative influences that can discourage or undermine your efforts to grow and improve.
Developing a growth mindset requires effort, dedication, and persistence. But you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more with LDE’s trainings and courses here.